The story so far...
I suppose I should probably update you all on how my racing season is going, shouldn't I?
We're pretty much halfway through the season and I've lost count of how many races I've done, both locally and in the UK. So far the road season has been a steep, and exhausting learning curve for me.
I'll start with the positives, which so far have been my timetrials. Like last year, I've PBd pretty much every time and managed to get my time down to a 25.22 (my first 10 mile TT was around a 29 last year on a similar course) - my hope is to at least manage a short 25 or even (in a perfect world!) a 24 by the end of the year. I've yet to race a 25 mile this year but there are two coming up, my goal for these is to go under 1.07 so fingers crossed! At the Bedford 3 Day my best stage was in the ITT where I managed a pretty decent result, upping my GC position with the placing.
One of the reasons my timetrials might be going so well is perhaps the fact that I've discovered how much confidence I lack when riding in a group. I began the season at the Saighton circuit riding one of the fantastic women's 2/3/4 CDNW races organised by Heather Bamforth. We all know how this went, the first half of it being absolutely spot on, no real qualms about group riding then. So what's happened? To tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea.
Comparatively my power and fitness are at the best they've ever been. I've learnt a lot about group dynamics and even more about holding position and even attacking, what I can't explain is why sometimes - I just fill up with this ridiculous lack of confidence, and feel myself consciously slipping through the back of the bunch to let myself timetrial to the end. I can't get my head around why this happens.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some alright results this season, considering it's my first full on in your face no messing about year of racing. But like any sportsperson will tell you after not achieving what they'd hoped for, I sort of expected more from myself. Knowing my strength on the bike, it's frustrating that this "fear" is stopping me from doing well at the sort of races I've been training really hard for.
After several conversations with my coach about why this is happening we concluded that it's a mixture of factors. We're doing the right training at the moment. Despite a frustrating winter marred with illness and fatigue I'm actually quite fit and my numbers are looking pretty damn sweet. I'm getting enough racing in to bring on that extra edge. Regardless of all of this there's something we can't hide from at the moment. A lot of people question why some cyclists are better than others at certain things, why is Cav a good sprinter? Froome a good climber? You only need to glance at these guys to understand what it is that makes those skills work in them. When you're new to cycling you harbour dreams of grandiose, imagining yourself to be sprinting to the line or crossing a hilltop finish with hands raised in epic glory. When you're new, you want to be everything you can. Well, it's been a couple of years or so now and I'm not really new any more. I've finally started to understand what it is I'm easily able to do, and what I'm not. II'm certainly no mountain goat, while still carrying some wobbly reminders of days gone by, I've always had fairly muscular legs and a bit of a pot-belly.
"I think you're a tester." - that's the coaches conclusion, that's also the word they give people who specialise in timetrialling. To be honest, I sort of know that's the case. I'm more comfortable scrunching myself up over the hoods with my head down, stomping on the pedals for hours on end without even a thought to the pain that I'm in... than I am stop/starting in the middle of a group of people who may or may not ride into me at any given moment. In road races, I've found even my own ability to chase back onto lost groups pretty impressive...this is great, obviously but there's a but.... The issue with my ability in this type of riding is that due to the fact that I'm still building fitness from absolutely nowhere, rather than using those skills to go off the front, it's being used to chase back to the back....this is not where we want to be. At all.
So where do we go from here? It's not the end of the world. Most of the great testers I know of are ridiculously good road racers, they have a canny ability not to get tired at the front, and then smash the field to pieces with 10 miles to go. My Merlin Cycles team mate Bex is a shining example of the sort of rider I aspire to become, a phenomenal tester and she uses those skills to her advantage in every race. Fabian Cancellara and Joanna Rowsell are yet more of the heroes I aspire to. So here's the plan, we're going to continue working on both my strengths, whilst honing on those things I'm a bit more rubbish at - such as climbing and working in a pack (which as the year goes by is definitely improving race by race!). Eventually my strength will go from being back of the pack hanging on power, to I'm going to eat the front of this group for breakfast with a lap to go power.
Sometimes it gets me down that I'm not getting the results I'd hoped for, especially when I'm currently sacrificing so much to do this. I can't remember the last time I could sit down and empty my head of cycling. It's genuinely exhausting. But at the same time it's really awesome to finally know and understand what sort of rider I am. Now I can look forward and really start to work on things properly. We now have a clear set of goals for the future, this is exciting! I just have to focus, keep my chin up and as my esteemed teammate Bex once said "keep chipping away" - for now I'll just keep pedaling and one day, no matter how long that takes, it'll come good.
We're pretty much halfway through the season and I've lost count of how many races I've done, both locally and in the UK. So far the road season has been a steep, and exhausting learning curve for me.
I'll start with the positives, which so far have been my timetrials. Like last year, I've PBd pretty much every time and managed to get my time down to a 25.22 (my first 10 mile TT was around a 29 last year on a similar course) - my hope is to at least manage a short 25 or even (in a perfect world!) a 24 by the end of the year. I've yet to race a 25 mile this year but there are two coming up, my goal for these is to go under 1.07 so fingers crossed! At the Bedford 3 Day my best stage was in the ITT where I managed a pretty decent result, upping my GC position with the placing.
 |
| Me feeling very proud of my Merlin Cycles team kit and bike! |
Comparatively my power and fitness are at the best they've ever been. I've learnt a lot about group dynamics and even more about holding position and even attacking, what I can't explain is why sometimes - I just fill up with this ridiculous lack of confidence, and feel myself consciously slipping through the back of the bunch to let myself timetrial to the end. I can't get my head around why this happens.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some alright results this season, considering it's my first full on in your face no messing about year of racing. But like any sportsperson will tell you after not achieving what they'd hoped for, I sort of expected more from myself. Knowing my strength on the bike, it's frustrating that this "fear" is stopping me from doing well at the sort of races I've been training really hard for.
After several conversations with my coach about why this is happening we concluded that it's a mixture of factors. We're doing the right training at the moment. Despite a frustrating winter marred with illness and fatigue I'm actually quite fit and my numbers are looking pretty damn sweet. I'm getting enough racing in to bring on that extra edge. Regardless of all of this there's something we can't hide from at the moment. A lot of people question why some cyclists are better than others at certain things, why is Cav a good sprinter? Froome a good climber? You only need to glance at these guys to understand what it is that makes those skills work in them. When you're new to cycling you harbour dreams of grandiose, imagining yourself to be sprinting to the line or crossing a hilltop finish with hands raised in epic glory. When you're new, you want to be everything you can. Well, it's been a couple of years or so now and I'm not really new any more. I've finally started to understand what it is I'm easily able to do, and what I'm not. II'm certainly no mountain goat, while still carrying some wobbly reminders of days gone by, I've always had fairly muscular legs and a bit of a pot-belly.
 |
| On my way to a new PB - great photo by Kevin Kissack |
"I think you're a tester." - that's the coaches conclusion, that's also the word they give people who specialise in timetrialling. To be honest, I sort of know that's the case. I'm more comfortable scrunching myself up over the hoods with my head down, stomping on the pedals for hours on end without even a thought to the pain that I'm in... than I am stop/starting in the middle of a group of people who may or may not ride into me at any given moment. In road races, I've found even my own ability to chase back onto lost groups pretty impressive...this is great, obviously but there's a but.... The issue with my ability in this type of riding is that due to the fact that I'm still building fitness from absolutely nowhere, rather than using those skills to go off the front, it's being used to chase back to the back....this is not where we want to be. At all.
So where do we go from here? It's not the end of the world. Most of the great testers I know of are ridiculously good road racers, they have a canny ability not to get tired at the front, and then smash the field to pieces with 10 miles to go. My Merlin Cycles team mate Bex is a shining example of the sort of rider I aspire to become, a phenomenal tester and she uses those skills to her advantage in every race. Fabian Cancellara and Joanna Rowsell are yet more of the heroes I aspire to. So here's the plan, we're going to continue working on both my strengths, whilst honing on those things I'm a bit more rubbish at - such as climbing and working in a pack (which as the year goes by is definitely improving race by race!). Eventually my strength will go from being back of the pack hanging on power, to I'm going to eat the front of this group for breakfast with a lap to go power.
Sometimes it gets me down that I'm not getting the results I'd hoped for, especially when I'm currently sacrificing so much to do this. I can't remember the last time I could sit down and empty my head of cycling. It's genuinely exhausting. But at the same time it's really awesome to finally know and understand what sort of rider I am. Now I can look forward and really start to work on things properly. We now have a clear set of goals for the future, this is exciting! I just have to focus, keep my chin up and as my esteemed teammate Bex once said "keep chipping away" - for now I'll just keep pedaling and one day, no matter how long that takes, it'll come good.
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